summertime sadness explained through chinese medicine

why do i feel so sad come summertime?

Spring burned me with its eroticism and left me barren. Now that its summertime, I feel fruitless in every way. The heat comes and exhausts my body, leaves my mind restless, and I feel feral. The clear messages I received in spring from the birds and the trees are whispers now I can’t decipher. There’s too much noise and excitement in the middle of June; the moon offers some respite but the crickets at night are too loud so that I can’t hear her soft humming. Summer makes empty promises and I always feel…..barren. Like any 20 something year old girl, whenever I feel inexplicably sad I turn to the ancient Chinese sages for wisdom. I ask them, why do I feel so sad come summertime?

They reply with cryptic messages and strange symbols. I barely scratch the surface of what they’ve learned from nature.

They say summertime belongs to the Sun, or the Fire element in the Wu Xing (the Taoist five elemental system). Within the body, Fire is represented by the Heart organ, considered the “essence of fire” as described in traditional Korean medicine.

“Heart: Qi of li (Fire), essence of Fire. Its colour is red. It resembles a hanging lotus. Its spirit has the form of a vermilion sparrow. Heart engenders shen spirit, which is transformed into a Jade Woman. She is 8 cun tall. She wears brocade garments and holds a jade flower, and goes in and out of the mansion of the heart.” -Symbolic illustration of the heart from Uibang-yuchwi (The wellcome collection

This cunty little Jade Woman goes in and out of the mansion of my heart and keeps me sad all throughout summer.

I’ve tried calming her with silent afternoons and cold showers but still they are restless;coming and leaving, leaving and coming, in and out of the great mansion of my heart. Who left the cage open?

In traditional oriental medicine, the pericardium is the “Heart protector” or the cage of the chest. The pericardium decides when the gates will open and when the Jade Woman will take her visitors.

The Heart in all its frailty and vulnerability needs the pericardium to protect it. The Jade Woman or this fragile, delicate spirit of the Heart is the spirit of joy, bliss, or love. True joy and love are delicate and almost untouchable states of mind. They are intrinsically temporary because they are so fragile. Maintaining a constant state of joy or love (bliss) is the goal of any spiritual discipline or practice but it can feel impossible in this world of deep sadness and terror.

When the Heart or its dutiful Protector are weak or vulnerable, our ability to come into and out of bliss is compromised. We become extremists, too joyful or loving like a promiscious flame, or incapable of any joy or love like a wet match. We can become explosive until we inevitably burn up. Excitement and mental stimulation are confused with joy and empty promises and lust are mistaken for true love, which blossoms from within always (never from the outside). The coming into and falling out of these states are more tangible and noticeable in the summertime.

Summer is too demanding and wants all of us all at once, it’s palpably extroverted. Excessive love, excitement and joy depletes the Jade Woman who wants to sit in her beautiful mansion with her beautiful bird and rest in stillness. Maintaining contact with this bliss or god requires introversion and so can feel extra difficult come summertime.

The body in its instinct to self-preserve will seek harmony and balance with "summertime sadness". The sadness is like the Moon that rises too late into the day, its cooling nature balances the Heart space and forces the Jade Woman to seek refuge within the confines of the mansion of the chest, finally still (Ren 14).

My summertime sadness is protection but I’ve become too accustomed to living in the gates of my own heart. I’m scared to leave this beautiful mansion I’ve built around myself because the world is horrible and cruel and joy and love are too precious and fragile. In my female delusion, I thought (and still think) that if I keep introverting I will eventually reach god. But I’m still a child of the world, bound by it and deluded by its shiny beauty.

I know it’s useless to hide deep inside my body, or to seek shelter in the depths of my stomach. I know comfort can feel a lot like suffocation, but I struggle to open the gates. I long to go beyond them but all the joy and love I’ve cultivated in the spring are too precious. A breath feels violent when everything around me is so fragile!!!